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Petrol Head's views - March 2005

You have probably all heard the saying "You are what you eat". Well that means if you live on pies then you will be a fat person. On the other hand, if you just eat vegetables, you will eventually turn into one as your brain will die off through lack of proper nourishment. Some people think that dog owners eventually grow to look like their dogs. Clement Freud was the classic example with his Blood Hound. Facial similarities if you get my drift.

So what about classic cars? Do classic car freaks buy cars to fit their personalities, their appearances or just simply to create an image they would otherwise fail to portray? I think they might...............

With the milder weather we have experienced of late, a few classics have emerged from the cobwebs, or in the case of the concours brigade, from their centrally heated garages or dehumidified air bubbles. The pub car park displayed a variety of classics at the weekend, and I sat their looking out and watched the assorted owners parking their chosen pride and joy before coming in to order their pink gins, G and T's or pints of high octane real ale.

There was the local ladies hairdresser who rolled up in his Fiat X19. He parked it carefully in a place where nobody could park too close, and as he minced across the car park he kept lovingly looking back at it. I watched him at the bar, his drink was a Babycham on the rocks, with the little cherry in a cocktail stick.

We had the old boy from the big rambling old house on the edge of the village. His rather immaculate MG TC suited him and as he sat their at the bar twiddling his handlebar moustache, and sipping his gin and tonic, I thought that he was the perfect gent for the perfect car. If you could have wound the clock back, he would have been the RAF pilot so often seen in the films. After a hard day blasting Jerry from the skies, he would hop into his MG and drive to the local dance.

Two very sensible older ladies in tweed suits pulled up in their Morris Minor. Doubtlessly a fully restored car that probably cost an arm and a leg from a specialist, but again the sensible and homely image of the Minor matched them perfectly. Two sherries were ordered and that sat quietly in the corner chatting about the WI flower show.

The local boy racer types arrived en mass in their hot hatches, apart from the farmers son who has a rather special Mini. It doesn't look very pretty, but this thing is an absolute animal! I have never seen anything corner like this thing does and he knows how to handle it. Probably the Red Bull and Coke he knocks back has something to do with it.

As with all villages, we have our share of the part time country set, the weekend squires as we call them. Those who leave their 4 X 4's at home in the city and come down here to buy up the cottages so that kids like mine can't get a foot on the housing ladder without moving away. If you haven't guessed, I have little time for such types. One of those and his woman arrived in a Mercedes sports job. Top down, him with his flat cap and squeaky brogues, her with her head scarf and brand new Barbour jacket. That car suited them well. Used to luxury and all for show.

So there you have it. Just an example to prove a point, but no doubt many of you will have other ideas, or may take offence. Never mind, we can't all be right.

Oh yes, before you all write in and ask which car did I take? It was the Allard as it suits me perfectly. Not only that, the lads fight over who will be the non drinker so as they can drive the old man home when the real ale has run out.

I was so pleased to see on the news this month that Shell are making a profit of £1 million per day. Knowing that people like us are struggling to pay such incredibly high fuel prices to make them such obscenely huge profits, and of course keep the Chancellor happy, well it takes the sting out of it really. One of the daily newspapers ran a story where an economist reckons that Shells massive profits are good for us! Supposedly it's a sign things are on the up. I don't just mean a middle finger. Anyway, Shell have responded by really helping the sufferings motorist......they've raised the price by 5 pence a gallon. Now is that a severe kick in the rude bits or what?

Last month I spoke about registration numbers and touched briefly on cars that had once been owned by a famous or celebrity owner. Well how about this for a disturbing fact: There was a Daimler 250 for sale on Ebay this month and it was claimed that Boy George was once an owner of the car. Furthermore, that so called singer of rather dubious appearance and errrrr well never mind, he was supposedly voted the 46th most import person of the 21st Century. I wonder where Oscar Wilde and Quentin Crisp came in that poll. Now I ask you.....What is this world coming to?

Personalised Registration Numbers.......Wow, upset a couple of people with that one I reckon. Still thanks to everyone who emailed in with their own views. As one guy pointed out, it's his money to spend on what he chooses. That is of course absolutely true, and if he decides he wants to out do the neighbours and be the ultimate poser, then who am I to stop him? Just a damned shame you could buy buy YUP 1 E as I'm sure it would have been perfect for you sir!

Anyway, how about these plates that I've seen or seen advertised in the past. P 15 ORF was sighted on an MG and I reckon that is a beaut! OBO 110 X certainly made a point, as did OGO 2 L. Perhaps one of the most apt that didn't actually spell anything and wasn't a name was EIE 10. It was advertised for sale a few years ago and was obviously an Irish registration as at the time they used the letter "I" and we didn't. Just suppose you were a farmer named MacDonald. "E I E 1 0" How good is that!

So who amongst you have seen some apt or slightly naughty numbers that have been missed by the little man who sits in a room at the DVLA deciding what is too obscene or politically incorrect to issue or sell?

So the Labour government have banned fox hunting this month. Regardless of your views on the subject, some good may come out of the new law that could benefit the motorists. If the police are busy nicking the country set, then they will have less time to pick on the car driving public. Also, with the hoards of Land Rover and 4x4 driving hangers on that follow the hunt along the country lanes of England having nothing to follow, it will be easier for the likes of us folk to have a pleasant uninterrupted spin in the countryside.

I'm off down the Fox and Hounds for a celebration pint!

Petrol Head

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The views represented here are those of 'Petrol Head' and do not necessarily reflect those of Classic Car Times.