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1700 Miles of Ireland – the Circuit of Ireland Retrospective Trial

October 2003
by Tony Sheach
Car 10 – Triumph TR4 BST82B

I didn’t expect to be doing this event, in fact Id never even heard of it until I received a phone call from a very decent Irishman called Terence Bradley who wanted to buy a cylinder head for his TR4. My spare big valve head, set of roller rockers, set of minilite wheels and a set of new forest tyres plus a few odds and sods later he seemed happy. I spent the money the day it arrived on a new overdrive gearbox. I then delivered the bits to a man called Gladys in Buckinghamshire and a week later they arrived in Belfast, spirited there on the FOC by a bit of Gaelic magic. Terence still happy and I had an invitation to come across for a little blast through the country – well it would be rude not to. Six months and a few phone calls later I was on a promise and the Circuit of Ireland Retrospective Trial beckoned.

The Circuit of Ireland is a bit of an institution, the retrospective trial run since the early 1980’s by the Ulster Automobile Club. 3 days worth of about 700 miles of transit and rally miles over some of the most beautiful bits of Northern Ireland and the northern part of Eire, with roads to make you grin and groan all at once. It can be very fast, with demanding navigation and, if you let it or get enthusiastic, very hard on the car, but the craic is huge - just like the ones in my rear suspension now. On again between 8th and 10th October 2004. Get your entries in now and Ill see you I the bar for the drivers briefing. Look at www.ulsterac.dircon.co.uk for further details or ring Gary the Clerk of the Course…This is the sort of event to support by turning up.

Wednesday last I ‘worked at home’ and the Wedgewood Blue Exxon Valdez turned into a TR4 (another bit of Gaelic magic…a Triumph you might say!) and the source of many gallons of oil which had helpfully preserved the front end of the car for the two years since it was last bolted together (loosely it would seem!) ran dry. At last the engine became continent. The new big core radiator slotted in, although an inch too short (why are TR parts always made for another car ….?) and the cabin became cool enough to sit in with the engine running and the windows up. Things started to look good. A bit of a spanner here and there and I actually believed I might make it to Ireland – nothing like a carefully prepared car. The car hadn’t run more than 300 miles without boiling, breaking or stopping totally before, so this was looking good like I had not seen to date.

Thursday morning transit to the rally and an early start from Fleet – destination Holyhead for the 1.45 ferry to Dun Loughhaire in Dublin (Done Leery to those who of you not blessed by the Celtic stars….) which arrived obscenely rapidly (thank you Snooper – I couldn’t push so hard without you!) and only after two tanks of full cream I was in the boat, via security who confiscated my spare petrol can because it was full of petrol. Fire hazard apparently, pity about the bag tank with 80 litres that filled the boot and which they apparently missed on close inspection. So much for contracting out the security arrangements. Easy journey across the water on the HSS Enterprise (no klingons here!) across Dublin in 40 minutes (which apparently is very quick) and I rang my navigator Terence as I hoofed up the N1 to Belfast. I thought it might be a good idea and a nice touch to actually meet before the rally, especially seeing as I was staying at his house! Look for a blue Landcruiser on the hard shoulder by the last roundabout he says – there are more landcruisers in Northern Ireland than Ford’s. I crested the brow of this hill in the rain, saw a roundabout, hit the anchors, dropped into 3rd from OD top, big flash from the exhaust in the dark of the evening and suddenly the man in the blue landcruiser was in the inside lane waving at me. More Gaelic stuff and this started to get a little spooky. Car still working – really worrying.

Kipped at Terence’s place in Holywood and slept like a pixie. A big breakfast with home made eggs from Mrs Terence and a trip through the Belfast traffic later and we were at scrutineering. My car first, scrutineer looks very on the ball and had a clipboard full of old retro and Snap On stickers. I look shifty. Car passes without a problem. I look amazed and struggle to keep it together. Terence keeps the craic running, like he has since the minute we met on the hard shoulder by the magic roundabout. He gives me a start time for proceeding to the first control, then immediately into the first driving test. I’m looking for the test site but only AA vans to be seen. Is this an omen?

We are car 10, which means only 9 others to copy from, assuming we stay on the road (not parked beside it) and on time. Car 9 the Escort RS2000 of an Irishman called Paul looks very on it, car 11 another Escort from Scotland looks very shiny and well prepared. Lots of other mean stuff and many minis, midgets, two other TR’s and best of all a big Healey to beat. Can’t say fairer than that can you. We haven’t a hope.

All shit together so I thought I’d check the measured mile, given that the navigation would clearly be our strength. 1.08 reading repeatedly so I reckoned we were on Irish miles. This wasn’t good as I was sure the measured mile on the A30 at Blackbush is cock on. No tables and no time to do a set of calibration runs with 32 and 141 so a quick call to Martin Jubb (should be Sir Martin really), shuffle with the cog set and we’re on 1.008 which is fine for me. Lots of shouting, where’s the test? Big dash and I’m on the line. I get out to read the instructions and look at where the cones are. Terence remembers to bring the car. I do my best to memorise the layout and route, but it’s all too much. Loads of sideways, Weber growling and racket and I’m the first MAX of the morning. Terence laughs like a drain and you can see the relief on his face that he’s got a tube for a driver, so the pressure is off. Exit the halt left and we’re on transit to the first regularity of the Circuit of Ireland.

A day of preplot regularity sections, some really tough, lots of speed changes, about 4 driving tests (two more MAX’s due to ineptitude, one respectable time – only 10 seconds behind Paul’s Escort – that’s 1 second a gate and one blinding cock up) and onward to the Night Navigation section on the Friday night. The tests are simple, like the driver of the little blue Triumph, now know as the forgetful ‘Max Test’, who gets his name written on the time card, rather than many numbers. This was excellent all day with great roads, little traffic and few of the competitors had problems. All except Paul with the RS2000, who broke and repaired a clutch cable half way through the day in 15 minutes. This included burning most of his arm on the exhaust and causing my first dilemma of the day – give him the cooling face cream, bought for me to stop windburn when the roof is off and look like a wuss, or look like a tough TR driver and let him look for dock leafs by the roadside. I looked such a wuss.

On to the Friday night navigation via another good lunch, unaware that the PC’s were actually ITC’s and it was Hart MC 12 car night, but across the pond. 30 mph average speed, white roads, dark with only 4 forward facing lamps (and 2 LUCAS King of darkness at that!). Plot and bash navigation. Magic. Terence unhappy with speed of car and head in dashboard at one point, muttering – I’m chuffed to bits and we guzzle tons of fuel through the twin 45, pouring it out the exhaust on overrun like a Starfighter in a dive. I am indeed test pilot material.

We cleaned most of the Night Nav, but not before landing very heavily on the rear suspension on a long straight but undulating section and, as it transpired once I had done another 1000 miles, breaking the axle retaining hoops and two of the U bolts and the top leaf in the cart spring on the drivers side. Very squeeky and rattly as the LSD came to life in the squint but it all still worked so I moaned but did nothing as is usual for a TR4 driver. Tools remain in boot. Automotive hypochondria he said – but I know a knackered TR4 when I see one I said.

Onward to the Abbey Hotel in Donegal, where we camped out for a very enjoyable 3 nights. Parked the car in the yoof proof car park and walked away to meet the Bugatti Brescia boys Andy and Paul, who later won the Spirit of the Event award for getting their fantastic machine round on regularity with only a rev counter and a set of maps like wet doilies, for a quick half. They also managed to levitate to the final test start after a broken shaft stopped them mid section. More fairy dust sprinkled here I fear.

A few Guinness’s later and it was breakfast. I felt like Id been working on the car all night using my head as a hammer. This was a dream – car still squeaking like an old bed with a young owner. Pre plot navigation already done by Terence on Friday morning so we stepped out into the mist and rain and tried to clear the windows of the TR4 prior to our Saturday trip around Donegal and some very white looking roads (when you could see them through the mist). More tests – this rally is won and lost on the driving tests – and a few more Max’s on our time card. Getting better, but apparently I have ‘the mind of a hen’ so probably not much better. I could only ever focus on the car or apex in front – and no … the only Toyota was well behind us, but not for want of pedigree from Denis – ex Irish Toyota high heid yin and another gentleman, who true to from was taking the Touring Class by storm. Tough regularities went well, in spite of long and fast transit stages which no one really expected. Not late at any, but tight for lunch and no more fruit gums. Close to another dilemma, but saved by my right foot and a roadside Maxol station. Terence looking happy and shiny as the time card is spot on.

Afternoon and more regularities between two sets of tests at the same venue. 2 MAX’s from 3, then 1 from 3 so my average was looking, well …… average. Bottom of my class was looking on – and we had gone from 3rd to 5th IC - the shame of it. Good regularity section through some very complex stuff - quite quickly. Colway EMJO’s ideally suited to what were really home roads for me. Quick enough also for a 911 to clobber a Subaru Impreza – We drive up but there is no one lying down or fighting so we pass by with a cheery wave.

More regs and stages. Now figured out why the other TR4 can do handbrake turns and I cant. My handbrake won’t hold me on the hill at the final test venue – it was perfect when I left Fleet. I’m relieved to hear that he has a hydraulic set up (although I’m still a crap driver) - I have a cobbled together TR4a arrangement with U Bolts attached to the rear axle - home engineering, but next to useless. I’m told encouragingly that I couldn’t drive a greasy stick up a dogs bum by all and sundry in any case, but nevertheless Santa will visit Demon Tweeks soon. Maybe some autotest practice would also be good. At least then I can’t blame my tool.

Saturday night is a bit more of party in Donegal and before we know it the whole of the County is in the hotel – bit like the Tardis really. A vat of ‘goodness’ later and its all over. DNF and off to scratchy land before the bar closed. We’re 4th in class and midfield at this point. I’m happy – ive bee both first and last in class at this point – so its still …. Well, average. Terence is shamed in front of his home crowd.

Sunday and the motley crew fire up the rattly beast after a quick plot of what navigation we have at the usual mega breakfast. It all looks easy for today, which means ITC’s and speed changes in all the most awkward spots, possibly plus some right foot – so here’s hoping. I’ve got my gloves, but I get the look from the left seat so I back off until my moment comes. Terence is on the ball. Car fires like Challenger and wakes the dead. More zombies in the car park and they start their cars. Were off to another driving test and I feel great.

We park up on the road into the test in the south of Donegal and the little voice in my head speaks as I look round at my lovely, admittedly poorly parked, creation - quite common for me you understand. I’m watching Paul pirouette his RS2000 round the autotest course like its a bike, when there’s a load of shouting, a crunch and a bit of a commotion. Terence approaches with no smile – for the first time since we met - ‘someones driven into your car’ he says. The little voice tells me ‘told you so’. Drivers door knackered, very sorry Irish man. Some microsurgery with a tyre iron and many slams later and the door closes again. Lots knackered. But its a Triumph so why worry – usually they left the factory like that. I’m annoyed as the door has lasted there since 1964, but it is totally bent so 2003 will see it retire to my trophy store.

My turn on the test. I get a time, 10 seconds behind the Escorts again, but at least I got round the cones in the right order and used some clutch to keep the back turning. Peter, the gentleman who has run the tests on the COI since the year dot smiles as I leave the line. I’m chuffed. He’s seen it all I’m sure and I can see it written on his face – still couldn’t drive a stick ….

A quick call to my friend Walter before we move off to the next regularity section, much smooshing and I own an ex USA drivers door for a TR4 and have placed an order for a litre of Wedgewood Blue plus hardener and a few bits of door mechanism. I find another packet of fruit gums in the bent door pocket. Life looks good. Car starts on the button and there is no rain. Healey coughs and stays still. Perfect – it’s all very shiny where I’m sitting.

Sunday takes us round some more fabulous roads, the route and speed change locations determined perfectly by controller in the left seat – he is very good despite his modesty. We dropped only seconds on all but the last regularity (but a few more Max tests!) until the last section. We were doing great, having doorhandled passed the Bug T13 on tow from the Porsche engined (?) Beetle – sorry Andy, but I thought you were just closing on him to go for the gap and push through… leapt a tractor at a passing place and muscled an Escort out of the way to stay absolutely on regularity. Then I saw the orange 911 dart up a side road – we sailed on past..mmmm. When we arrived at someone’s house, spun round and found number 24 the black bonneted Triumph 2000 bearing down on us from up the next road I knew we’d gone wrong. Joy – I’m not the only duffer on board.

Unbelievably Terence plotted a Tulip twice and we ended up driving round to see Rodney (one of the big cheeses in the UAC) at his control twice, shortly after I spotted the only car in Northern Ireland with an old Glasgow registration for the second time. I knew we were lost and the swearing from the left gave me a good clue to our degree of lostness and lateness. Used my Compass for the first time to get us on route ( I knew that it was £40 well spent, but its taken me 2 years to prove it) and at this point Terence finally let me loose in a vain attempt to make up time. 5 miles flat on whites – fantastic. This is what this particular TR4 is really built for – gruntacious and the rear end sounds like it is ruined and expensive. I tentatively ring the RAC Recovery team to enquire as to their whereabouts for a rendezvous on Monday near Dublin.

We arrived back at the Abbey Hotel, Donegal and immediately more Guinness thrust in my hand by Terence and his hospitable friends, now recovering his own composure from the drive back to the final control. I hadn’t realized that he was so easily scared, nor could scream so loudly – he owns a Manx Norton and a Cooper 500 which are much quicker …… but I’m sure the helmet deadens the sound. A dent had appeared in the hard top directly above his head. It wasn’t me and I didn’t do it, but I now understand why my Ridgard seats don’t have FIA certification.

End of rally, results up, much shame but still a great event. Great dinner, great time, more booze, tales of rapid Paddies, no sleep etc. – I’m doing this again. I even got an escort across the border from the rapid Micky (and Michael) in his unforgettable lemon yellow Peugeot 404 Saloon – well you would remember that wouldn’t you! There are too many other great people to mention, such was the fantastic nature of the event, but Ill remember quite a few for a long time I’m sure. Particularly the butterfly …….

One thing that came through loud and clear to me from this fabulous event is that without a big field of entries from far and wide it will not survive – certainly not in the form it has done so for so many years. The Circuit appears to have had a few lean years and continues at the moment through the work of a dedicated team who obviously put a lot of work and personal energy into this event. I say this sincerely as I got a little clue when I saw the ‘back office’ team readying the next days activity as we all fixed cars or did our best to abuse ourselves each night. It really shows in the quality of the routes, the tests and the faultless roadbook (subject to a few east / west and left / right changes!). I’m sure there are few rallies that you can genuinely say that about. They deserve my thanks – so please accept it through this article, but they also deserve your support through your entry in 2004 and in the years beyond.

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